Heroic Flatulance

This week I have mostly been eating MSG, I didn't particularly want to, I just did. It's in everything, except maybe the sardine and potato curry puffs that a little man tries to sell me each day I walk to the station. While I might avoid MSG I am not sure about that particular combination of ingredients, good value though at 3 for a $1. Also on the way to the station the other day I noticed a new poster that told me "Anyone can be a hero. Just do what you always do" I am particularly excited about that, I have repeatedly told Emma that my farting would one day make me a hero. I didn't consider becoming a hero when I moved to Singapore but I am quite proud of myself now.
We had our first guests last weekend, and despite a couple of logisitical hitches, everything went well and proved that we can very comfortably sleep several visitors. We are still apologising to Jess for leaving her to sleep on the lounge in the lobby because we didn't hear the phone at 5:00am, but we think we have learned from her experience. Hopefully the itching will subside soon.
Having visitors forced us to become tour guides. For a first attempt it was a little slack, mostly time was spent sleeping between meals but we did make it to the Botanic Gardens. We saw a very unusual tree that had these strange flower things that looked like hundreds of excited dogs' willies. We chrisitned it the dog cock tree, but I think it had another name. We also tried some Joy Juice which was pleasingly free of faecal matter but loaded full of sugar, I suspect there might have been some MSG in there somewhere as well. But we thought it would be a very good mixer for a breezer type drink. Odering a Vodka Joy Juice over the bar has a certain romance to it.
Speaking of drinking I brought my first hangover to work today and learned a couple of interesting things about doing that. Firstly it is very difficult to find an egg and bacon roll in Tampines junction. I did think for a very brief second about trying a sardine and potato curry puff, but decided not even a hangover is going to bring me to try one of those. The offerings in the soya bean shop, the satay shop and some weird looking curry house just didn't quite cut it for breakfast. I had to make do with some very odd Burger King breakfast thing which is still sitting uneasily in my tummy. The second thing I learned is that is important to sit still on a toilet with a sensor flush, while it is a great way to wash your undercarriage it is probably not the done thing to stand under the hand drier with your pants down. That didn't happen by the way, but it could one day if you're not careful. I could always use the squat in stall 3 but I don't think my knees are up to it.
Off to lunch now, over an out.

Joy Juice

This week I have mostly been drinking Kick a Poo Joy Juice, actually I haven't, I'm too scared to, why would I? If I was to kick a poo I would be reluctant to extract the liquid from it, bottle it and call it Joy Juice. Perfectly acceptable behaviour in some of the seedier alleyways and back doors of Oxford St, but it just doesn't seem hygenic to with me. I am also a little puzzled as to what the Wanko store has on its shelves, I'm not going in without some sort of wet weather gear.
Well the 8 weeks of practice paid off, Singapore's 40th National Day went off without a hitch, not that we saw too much from the BBQ area of River Palace. The air show was noisy but brief, with an island 42KM accross surrounded by nervous neighbours there isn't much room to move before attracting a missile lock. In fact so brief was the display that the TV helicopter was the only flying thing visible for more than 5 minutes. We watched it intently for about 10 minutes before we realised it wasn't part of the show, we also saw a curious turtle in the River.
We managed to get off the island briefly a couple of weeks ago, we went to another island which was also small and hot. Perhaps it was the lack of shopping malls, but it was strangely empty for a piece of Singapore, hired bikes and dropped about 3 litres of sweat just working the kick stand. It didn't help when I broke the gear lever leaving me with 6th and 12th gear which seemed to also correspond the litres of sweat I was losing.
We moved into the new pad this week, which is excessively large and unusually decorated. Brightly coloured walls and patterned toilet seats appear to be following us around the world. But don't let that put you off visiting, plenty of room for all your bits and bobs and you too can bond with the freshwater lobster in loungeroom fishtank. I told Reidy whatever floats in the tank I'm eating.
Over and out