Tropical Christmas

This week I have mostly been enjoying the tropical festive season. Although it appears to be just an excuse to encourage people to shop more, not sure that’s actually possible for some of the dedicated locals. Some arse clown has decided that it would be really cool to stick squeaky things in kids shoes, which is annoying at the best of times, but horrendous this time of year. Imagine 100 kids in a shopping mall with a rubber ducky strapped to each foot and you have an idea of what I’m talking about. Locals love ‘em, I want to punch ‘em.  
Our patch has become a nightmare, particularly as Orchard Rd is lit up like a … Christmas tree. This means every amateur photographer on the island, and there are plenty, is drawn to the lights smacking you in the shins with a tripod at every turn. In the true spirit of the Singaporean Christmas the lights are sponsored, this year brought to us by Hitachi and Visa.  Pizza Hut has even got in to the spirit with the alarmingly pink Holly Jolly Pizza. http://www.pizzahut.com.sg/html/home/index_20051122.asp
We were planning to our bit for Australian culture and head to Arab St with a couple of Aussie flags and some iron pipes. But I’ve hurt my back and can hardly put on my pants let alone swing an iron bar. So I went to see an osteopath instead. Turns out he had spent some time in Aus and had some interesting ideas on how to defuse the situation.
But not as interesting as his ideas for dealing with drug traffickers, which perhaps provided more of an insight as to why he got into manipulating spines for a living. He thought capital punishment was wrong but if he was the homeland minister then he would use drug traffickers to train new recruits on how to beat up prisoners and even use “electrical stimulation”. He went on to explain that way they would be punished every month for the rest of their lives. Nice.
Today I saw a woman with a shirt that said “I love vintage Mickey” I don’t, it stinks a bit.