Kitchen Toilet

This week I have mostly been acclimatising to life back in Singapore following a very fine Christmas New Year break in Aus. It certainly leaves you questioning why you would ever want to live somewhere else after visiting over this period. Sydney has to be one of the more festive places in the world to enjoy Christmas New Year, and a big thanks to everyone who accommodated us and found time to drink, eat and fish with us.
The scarcity of fish made it more of a harbour cruise outside the heads, maybe I just scared them off with my Chopper Reid fishing stance.
After the hideous 44˚C on New Years day it was good to get back to Singapore to cool down. What wasn’t good was coming back to a construction site dumping ground in the lounge room and a toilet sitting in the middle of the kitchen.
Eager to remove as many of the unsightly bathroom and toilet fixtures (only 2 to go now) from the unit we agreed to the downstairs toilet being fixed in our absence. This was in an effort to stop us raining turds and wee down on the BBQ pit. I don’t think we actually were, but I was told our toilet was leaking down there so I would like to think we were doing a good job of it. Following some fairly irate conversations we now have a clean unit, a new downstairs toilet and the rest of the condo can now BBQ with the peace of mind that is indeed a bratwurst not a poo on their plate.
Singapore’s tourist catch phrase is Uniquely Singapore and I was pleased to note that Singapore seems to have upped the tension on its uniqueness in our absence. A blank wall at the City Hall train station had assign up apologising for any inconvenience; another sign told me not to lean on it. Maybe it was meant to be read the other way round, don’t lean on the wall and sorry for the inconvenience, I don’t know.
There is a unique courtesy drive going on the trains right now, Courtesy Ambassadors will be recognising courteous behaviour by dishing out tokens of appreciation. Wearing deodorant, cleaning your teeth, standing more than 6 inches from your face and not trying to bring a lung up through your nose would get my token if I were an Ambassador. But I am not, which is probably a good thing because I would never reach my token quotas of appreciation based on those criteria.
Some other Uniquely Singapore things spotted this week included Star Wars being classified as Romance in Borders, which would leave many a geek questioning their sexuality and a tin of Sweet and Sour Pork being the choice of vegetarians who shop at Carrefours.
I was trying to describe what it was like living in [Unique] Singapore to a mate back in Sydney, the more I went on about the more we realised Singapore is actually the “Truman Show” movie in real life. If this is the case and people are actually watching our lives unfold on TV I would appreciate if they could let me know so I can sort out how to attach a magnifying lens to my willy. Thanks.