Underpants Gnomes

Reidy reckons I need a different opening line, I thought she was worried about me borrowing from the Fast Show, but she said it was boring and I should change it. Technically I just did.
This week I have mostly been looking for my underpants. It would seem one of the drawbacks of living in a large place is that underpants go missing between the line and the bedroom and in a place with plenty of drawer space they could be anywhere. It’s something of a mystery how they went from being in a nicely folded pile to not being there at all. Reidy is blaming the gnomes, saying she saw it once on the telly. Unfortunately an episode of South Park is not going to cut it as an explanation and I am down to 5 pairs now. This by John Burrows’ standards is 3 extra than you need but it is quite warm and sweaty here.
I won’t bore you with the details of my breakfast dilemmas this week other than to issue a health warning around eating the Burger King Giant Omelet Sandwich. Do not ever ever be tempted to eat one of these, no matter how hung over you are.
I probably wouldn’t eat one of these either, curried chicken is one of many things that should never be inserted into a donut.
We went to an Aussie bar last Friday to watch the Aussie rules. This is not normally something I would be interested in but sporting achievements are a little thin on the ground this year so I’ll take what I can get. What was unusual about this bar is that it is smack in the middle of Little India and comes complete with mangy dog and Holden car body parts. It was pretty tame by Aussie bar standards though, very little swearing and no fighting but they tried to make up for it by putting on some pretty loud cover bands into a very small space. This Saturday they open for the grand final at 9:00am so perhaps then they will put on a true Aussie cultural display. Saturday we went to our new favourite bar it is probably even better than the Wallace.
I saw a quite unusual sign this week, “One puff and you’re in cuffs” it said. This was on the side of a school and I initially thought it was warning of the perils of underage felatio, but it was in fact trying to discourage kids from smoking. But the most impressive poster I have seen for a while is the one promoting the new Triumph one piece bra. Did I mention it’s impressive.
I have been very disturbed about some unusual things in the toilets at work. I am only speculating here, but I am pretty sure that people are washing their bottoms in the toilets. On two occasions this week there has been a lot of splashing following the flush in the cubicle next to me. My theory is that the person is washing his bot afterwards, but scooping water out of the toilet bowl? That’s not right. The problem is I don’t have anyone in the office to ask about this practice, it could be them.
We’re off the island tonight woohoo.

Over an out